One year

One year. A year of freedom from 50+ visits to MGH. A year of healing, of gaining strength, of forgetting. A year of hair. And eyebrows! A year of moving forward.

As this milestone approaches, I wonder if I've learned enough, changed enough, grown enough. At first glance, no. I still sleep too little, eat too much, exercise rarely and am consumed by stress too often.

But my eyes have been opened and life will never be the same.

Sure I've made little changes - reduced the chemicals in our cleaning and personal care products, improved the quality of our food, removed Teflon and BPA from our kitchen. We grew our first garden, ate less meat and even fewer processed foods. Most importantly, I've cut back my hours at work and am spending more time with my kids, family and friends.

But the biggest change is saying "yes". To everything.  Big and not so big. In 12 months, I've travelled hundreds of miles to spend 40th birthdays with two best friends, crossed the country for 48 hours to attend a friends memorial, hung out with my 88 year old grandmother, gone to concerts, planned special date nights, and remembered how to do a back dive. I've spent gorgeous time with my kids helping them learn to ski, ice skate, read, color, hug like they mean it, ride bikes, lay in the grass and stare at the sky. I don't want to miss a thing.

All cliches have truth. The most important thing in life are your loved ones. At no point between hearing "you have cancer" and weeks later when the pathology report came back from my surgery did I wish I had spent more time at work. Sorry Sheryl Sandberg, but I'm leaning out. Out of my beige cube and into the world.

I'll see you around. XO